Quite a few of my friends have been asking me if they should have a third kid? Which is kind of crazy since I do not have three kids ( I have two for the record). My usual initial response is “are you crazy?” Let’s say you have the luxury of asking this question and can plan a third kid and it’s not an oopsie. Then we delve into the reasons why are they asking this question? Is it because everyone else is having a third one? That has never been a good enough reason to do something where everyone else is doing it. Another question I ask is, do you have so much free time that you don’t know what to do with it? Adding another kid to the mix will take 33% more time out of your free time and means another kid you have to shop for and make meals for and take to their activities and another parent-teacher conference. Speaking of meals and shopping, add that to the list of more expenses with a third kid, nanny expenses, school expenses, vacation expenses, college and car expenses. From a working mom point of view, that is one more kid that might get sick. Also can mom afford to take the time off or will she have to quit altogether? A third kid outnumbers the number of adults (in a traditional home set up with two parents). Some of these moms say they miss a little one in the house. Unfortunately, they are only little for a maximum of 3-4 years. I also ask them to remember that you are also not as young and would have to go through pregnancy as an older mom which can come with its own complications. I don’t know about others but I am finding each age comes with its own set of challenges. I am finding the hard part, especially is teaching the kids about Islam and arabic, etc. A lot of time goes into teaching them about our faith.

Obviously, if you and your spouse have a great and supportive and understanding marriage and have reached a consensus that your lives are missing a little someone, then that is a great reason to go for a third child. The heart wants what it wants but if you are on the fence about it, do think about it and do your research and ask other moms of three about their daily schedules and also how they carve out time for their marriage and health and see if it’s right for you.

 

2 Comments on “Three or not to three?

  1. Mine was unplanned. But when after number three, you may not believe it but it does get easier. In Malaysia we say- every child brings its own rizq ( im not sure the exact word in english. Maybe luck? Prosperity? Along those lines..and they will not reduce your ?income? Maybe wealth is ehat im looking for. But yes, having a child needs you to be ready emotionally too, this is the most important part..

    • Yes exactly, Allah plans all and provides for them too! This post was for people who are thinking about adding another one to the mix, thanks for your thoughts! Have a blessed day!

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