In the dental office yesterday, I had a 22 year old patient start to cry when we told her she needed a cleaning that was a little more than a “regular” cleaning but not quite a deep cleaning yet because she has not been flossing as she should be. The hygienist was stunned by the reaction and quickly went to get the mom to explain the situation to her. I walked in to see what happened and to do my part of the exam and the mom was explaining that she is her baby. I wanted to tell her she is not doing her “baby” any favors by babying her. I often see many parents continue to take care of their adult offspring well into their 30’s and 40’s which make me wonder what will happen to them when their parents pass away? These types of situations get me thinking how can I make sure that I am raising my children to be able to navigate the world as adults?
I know that I am tough on my kids because I have seen what happens when moms especially are too lenient on their kids. My kids know that they have specific rules that need to be followed. I don’t stay on top of their homework because I have been through elementary school already and it is their turn now. They don’t do the work, they have to pay the consequences. The drive to do well needs to come from within I think and sometimes that drive may not kick in until much later after learning that success takes hard work. I can only help buy the supplies and guide them or help them make a timetable. I hope this will set them up for success in meeting deadlines in college and their careers. I am not a tiger mom but I do believe in allowing children to fail and then facing the consequences. I think it is important to teach them how the world works without facing more adult and potentially damaging consequences in the real world.
I know that we are all trying our best based on our own personalities and our own memories and upbringings come into play on how we raise our children. However, it’s important to remember that our babies will grow up and it’s our job to make sure they can navigate life without us holding their hands every step of the way.
Please leave any comments or suggestions below, I am always looking for good or helpful advice.