One of the hardest things about parenting is not knowing if the techniques that we are using now will result in a hard working and competent adult.  It will take many decades before we see the final result of all our hard work. One of the things we can do in the present is to set an example in our daily lives so they can model our behavior. If you don’t want them to bully anyone, don’t bully or yell at them. If you don’t want them to gossip or backbite, don’t let them hear you on the phone doing the same. If you want them to practice kindness, make sure you are kind to them and your spouse and not just kind to the outside world. It doesn’t matter what face you show to the public, your children are paying attention to the one you show at home.